Hey everyone at home how are you getting on? Hope you all made it through January blues without needing a liver transplant. I'm writing to you today on a Tuesday afternoon from bed which I have yet to leave (I skipped class today). January has been a quiet month for me but I have been meaning to update for sometime to make up for my lacklustre post about Tokyo. Friday will be the end of this semester, this 15 week marathon of a semester, and I have found myself struck with waves of apathy about doing anything except waiting it out for freedom. I'm also slightly annoyed that I was supposed to be at the Sapporo snow festival right now, but due to a mix up of the term dates by Kobe University it turned out I had to stay here to take part in a laborious presentation exercise. I feel like a rant right now so I'm gonna have a rant- hard hats on people!
I knew Japan would be highs and lows and the past week has been a definite low. This isn't because I don't like Japan, find the culture confusing, or finding the language difficult anymore. I love Japan, know Kobe well, and can talk to people fine. The issue is Kobe University. Even though I've only mentioned these issues briefly on this blog before, I have been hit by a string of incompetencies by the University recently and am seriously considering dropping out from Kobe, severing all ties with them and moving to Osaka and finding a job there.
The problem is: we can't make Japanese friends here.
This is not my fault. I can communicate in Japanese fine now. It's because the set up here is completely wrong.
Issue 1: For a reason I will never understand we have been put in a department on the fringes of the university full of anti-social students who aren't interested in us. It would make a lot more sense to me to put us in the school of Intercultural studies, which is where every other foreign student is and well travelled Japanese people who would be more interested in us, and where lectures are perfectly pitched to our level. This term people have basically dropped out of their lectures since they're incomprehensible. I will never understand why such an incompetent decision as putting us here in the faculty of letters was made.
2: There has been next to no support network to help us integrate into such an antisocial department. There is one weekly 'international hour' which has turned into a laughing stock as our receptionist will just go into the common room clear everyone out just so us Oxford lot can sit there on our own drinking coffee with noone else bothering to show up more than once. There has also been no assistance in joining sports clubs and stuff which would be easy enough at home, but much harder to find and less accessible here. If there is a University psychologist we have no idea where they are; at the moment it is up to all of us to pick up the pieces when ever someone loses the plot.
3: Classes have been laborious. These are also every morning from 8.50-12.10 which is rough since they are conducted at 1mph. I could cover the same amount of material by myself in about half the time. Some teachers are very good, but others are inexperienced and nervous, without a clue of how to do anything except algorithmically follow the pattern of the textbook. By 12 we are knackered and simply do not have the energy to proactively leave our lonely faculty to look for Japanese friends. I do not believe we should even have to do this proactively; friends should have naturally gravitated towards us by now. Would it really be so hard to give us a break some days by moving the lessons forward by a period? apparently so.
I'd like to think I've tried really hard this term, and done better than most having got into the orchestra and icircle, but all of these are just one offs and this set up does not allow us to incorporate Japanese people into our daily lifestyle. Judging by the fact everyone around me seems to be emotionally breaking down with me verging ever closer to the edge makes it clear to me that something's wrong here. Because we have no friends, the Oxford lot are forced to do almost everything together. This inescapable intimacy is what's led to problems- we are just 12 random people all interested in the same subject, this does not mean our personalities will gel perfectly as friends, but right now we have no choice because we can't branch out for ourselves.
Like my friend said to me the other night "it shouldn't be this hard", and I agree. Another 15 weeks like this and the cracks will only get wider. I know some of this is just teething problems since this programme is brand new and we're the first year, in which case they should be prepared to make radical changes in time for next term to fix their own errors. Me and a friend are composing a letter to Oxford tonight to explain what I have just outlined. To be honest the solution is simple: move us to the faculty of intercultural studies, but when we asked about this there seems to be no flexibility on their part.
OK so rant over, please don't take this post as a sign that the whole experience has been miserable because this is not the case at all. I'm just not getting as much out of this as I'd hoped for. It really has nothing to do with me doubting my love of Japan. In fact, I cannot wait to come back here just not like this. If only I had the writing skills to word this more eloquently it wouldn't have sounded like such a rant. I just had to write about this since it's been on my mind for quite some time now.
As far as more positive news goes, I am visiting a really kind old lady tomorrow who I met at PechaKucha who invited me round to make me dinner and have a chat. Should be nice! On Sunday I am going on a 'homestay' at a Japanese household in Kobe which I'm sure I will have lots to say about on this blog. The family are a couple called Megumi and Toru, both 55. They have no pets (allergic) or kids (despise them) which is perfect for me. I'm looking forward to telling you all about this experience.
After that it's my flight home. I wasn't planning to come home but in light of all these fuck-ups I need some time to recharge for 2 weeks. I'm also excited to see our flat in Oxford for next year for real and not just through videos. Exciting times ahead.
Apologies, there wasn't any particular need to post the above issues here, on my blog for family and friends, it's just all I can think to write about at this minute.
Best,
Sean
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